when did i ask jokes
Have you ever started to tell a joke only to forget the punchline halfway through? When When When When When. It needed help figuring out its problems. Right where you left it. Youre probably dumb. 2. Ivana fuck your brains out. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. What did the leper say to the prostitute? Well-armed. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. If you need so much space, theres always NASA. Exaggerations have become an epidemic. Oh, no. When I was in junior high, the girls in my class would laugh at me or ask questions designed to embarrass me. As I mentioned, this page contains a list of funny question you can ask Cortana. Well, if this is what they ask, here are some examples of witty comebacks you can use: "You've got very short hair, are you a lesbian?". What's E.T. You can also sign up for our newsletter so you don't miss out on what's next! Computers dont laugh at 3.5 floppies. I was kidnapped by mimes once. We've even broken things down by category so that you know which jokes will land best among your audience. The Satisfactory. 29. Micro-waves. Why do geese fly south in the winter? Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? What Is My Angel Number? 1. What do you call a fake noodle? 3. What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? 43. They dont actually want to know if they asked you. If a moldy dIck had a face, it would have yours . 34. I love every bone in your body, especially mine. Don't care + didn't ask + L + Ratio + soyjak + beta + cringe + stfu + cope + seethe + ok boomer + incel + virgin + Karen + + you are not just a clown, you are the entire circus + + nah this ain't it + do better + check your privilege + pronouns in bio + anime pfp + . Ate something. Ill go on a head. Hi! What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Because, as mentioned above, the question implies that the question asker does not care about what the person they asked it to has to say. And do you love, well, jokes? Whats the difference between a woman and a computer? Plus, when you get home and your kids ask what you did today, you can tell them you managed to sprinkle some humor into your workday. What do boobs and toys have in common? If I promise to miss you, will you go, like, really far away? According to Mason, expose them to as much as possible and that includes jokes. His wife asked me if I could say a quick word. Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?" Why0is it that everything youlove is either unhealthy, addictive, or has multiple restraining orders againstyou? A nervous wreck. READ THIS NEXT: 183 Jokes for Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun. Thats why Ive put together this list of 32+ witty comebacks for who asked and did I ask. I hope they help you the next time someone asks you this question! What did one hat say to the other? Well, I'm not going to spread it. 50. What did one pig say to the other on Valentine's Day? "That . Originally Published: May 29, 2019 When kids want to laugh, they rarely turn to their math homework for jokes. Banana Jokes. Elementree school. Light travels faster than sound, which is why people like you appear brightuntil they open their mouths. A liar. Your mind might want to dance, but your body is a really awkward white guy. But hilarious jokes never go out of style. The sheer awkwardness of the situation should set in eventually and the person will walk away. (Walk. You dont have to be rude or disrespectful when someone asks this question. Whos there? Knock Knock! * You don't want my opinion? He didn't have the guts to ask anyone. Will glass coffins be a success? Let's begin. 38. They did unspeakable things to me. What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? Explanation: The first two errors? "Dick jokes, if you craft something amazing out of them, could be the funniest thing someone's ever heard. He tells his waiter, "I want a grilled cheese." The brunette smells it and says it smells like cum. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? A golfer goes. Article continues below advertisement. Because he had a great fall. Theyre clean, effective, and will leave the person asking the question wondering what just hit them. Wait. jokes just never get old well, almost never! Clever responses are better suited for when in the company of people you want to impress. Its a win-win! What is the opposite of a croissant? Masturbation is like procrastinationits all good fun until you realize youre just fucking yourself. Re-Morse code. Thanks a lot Sergios Rotar (hope i didn't make any typos. Whos there? Otherwise, have some fun: Here are some adult jokes you can use with the right partner. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? Of course, you need to screw a light bulb. 46. A gummy bear. Explanation: Even on an island of one, religion can be a tricky issue. A bear walks into a restaurant. A pork chop. In addition to the 70 jokes below, we've also got .css-k807px{-webkit-text-decoration:underline;text-decoration:underline;text-decoration-thickness:0.0625rem;text-decoration-color:brandColorSenary;text-underline-offset:0.25rem;color:#006603;-webkit-transition:background .4s ease-in-out,color .4s ease-in-out;transition:background .4s ease-in-out,color .4s ease-in-out;background:linear-gradient(to bottom,#e6f4e1 0,#e6f4e1 100%);-webkit-background-position:0 100%;background-position:0 100%;background-repeat:repeat-x;-webkit-background-size:0 0;background-size:0 0;}.css-k807px:hover{color:#29511A;text-decoration-color:border-link-body-hover;-webkit-background-size:0.625rem 3.125rem;background-size:0.625rem 3.125rem;}dad jokes, jokes for kiddos, mom jokes, and jokes for holidays that you can share them with the youngest person in the room. Youre getting mayo all over my bed!, Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. He wanted to get a long little doggie. Earbuds. Neeeooooooow! What did the daddy ghost say to the baby ghost? How do celebrities stay cool? Why was the nurse asking for a red pen? You know there's no official training for trash collectors? This response is clever because it takes the same disrespectful energy that comes with did I ask you and hurls it back at the question asker. How To Break Up With Someone Toxic/Narcissistic Safely And Never Look Back, The Best Outfits From Daisy Jones And The Six That Make Me Wish It Was 1975, Signs You Lack Self-Love (And How To Develop It), 5 Powerful Boundaries To Counter Passive-Aggressive Narcissists, How To Channel Main Character Energy Like Daisy Jones & The Six. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? Well-armed. Such as bosses, future bosses, hopeful romantic partners, future in-laws, or random people on the street. No, but I could tell you needed my help. Hope you do, too: Here come the longer funny jokes! You wait here. What does a 75-year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesnt? Check out these hilarious whats the difference between jokes. What did the full glass say to the empty glass? Because they cantaloupe. Where are average things manufactured? We recommend our users to update the browser. The line gained popular recognition in mid-June 2011. Id be fine if there werent so much blood in my alcohol system. Is it in?. You put a little boogie in it. By the CBC Kids team August 15, 2017 | Last Updated April 08, 2022. We've been graced with our fair share of "dad" jokes, so-bad-they're-good puns, knock-knock jokes, and even some moments of pure stand-up comedy. Such as bosses, future bosses, hopeful romantic partners, future in-laws, or random people on the street. 3. All while making the question asker look dumb. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car. What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills? Whats the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? Dont make me come in there! It is all about reading a room and assessing a situation when you have to decide between a clever or funny response. when did i ask jokes 26.2M viewsDiscover short videos related to when did i ask jokes on TikTok. Dont use them at work or around children. It usually confuses people first time hearing it but that's the point. What do you call a pony with a sore throat? When someone asks "did I ask you", you have only a moment to decide whether to be clever or funny. Hes been going through some shit. They're his watch dogs. "The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.". A receding hare line. A cancer-causing ingredient sparked the alarm, according to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). They saw an abandoned log cabin and went inside. What did one Christmas tree say to another? You might love your life, but I think it just wants to be friends. Da brie was everywhere. The funny responses are more for getting a good laugh out of the group around you than trying to come out on top and seeming smart. So why wouldn't we embrace any chance we have to giggle at a joke? What did the big flower say to the little flower? xhr.open('POST', 'https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', true); They are similar to the phrase "shut up"and may be considered rude to use. How did the student feel when he learned about electricity? Sometimes, you might be in a goofy mood or just want to laugh, so when someone asks did I ask you, you decide to give them a funny response. Best trade I've ever done! A chicken sees a salad. Why do bees have sticky hair? Thats because when Marx was a little boy, he hated school. Its the same as a French kiss, but down under. Because they'll never meet. How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Between you and me, something smells. It shut all my friends up! Learn more about us here. The salesman asks him, "Do you want an aquarium?" I don't know how I feel about that. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A cocker-poodle boo. In any case, a witty comeback will put the other person in their place and let them know that youre not going to take their crap. The man. Why dont we see elephants hiding in trees? He just can't part with it. No? If you have a great hand, you dont need a partner. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Close the door, I'm dressing. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Honesty may be the best policy, but insanity is the best defense. Be careful to whom you send these. Why couldn't the knife go back in the drawer? Well it's your lucky day, because we've got . Explanation: Marxists oppose class structures. Explanation: Time is relative, especially to the entity that invented it. Explanation: "Drei"pronounced "dry"is German for "three . This response is very clever because it makes it very clear that you contributed helpful information. How is sex like a game of bridge? Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. This one works because it both acknowledges that you werent asked and draws focus to the fact that you actually did contribute helpful information to the conversation. Whats a adult actress favorite drink? But sometimes they even outdo us adults. Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb. Why did the student eat his homework? This one is funny because it seemingly implies that you didnt even realize that they were part of the conversation, making them look dumb and unimportant. If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. 4. One thing led to another and the lifelong question was answered: it was the chicken. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. What is the square root of 69? What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed? 20 History Jokes We Dare You Not to Laugh At. 50 Valentine's Day Jokes 1. Dinner's on me. Since 2017, over 500 new Campers have joined us across our three groups - Customer, Org, and Product - and we thought we'd share the laughter with you. Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your faceonce you shove them down the stairs, that is. Explore the latest videos from hashtags: #whendidiask, #whendidweask . How do you make a tissue dance? Jokes for Kids 2022. That was an insect. To which one of the boys replies, Im surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!. Remains to be seen. "no one asked" 28. "I'm a. 64 What Did The. What do you call a pony with a sore throat? Why do bees have sticky hair? The bear shrugged. My mate says I'm getting fat, but in my defense I've had a lot on my plate recently. Three nuns are sitting on a park bench when a flasher comes by. 1. This response shows that you really dont care that you werent asked. Dont miss these hilarious egg puns that will absolutely crack you up. Ivana who? Joke has 83.83 % from 129 votes. What did the one lesbian vampire say to the other? What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Two guys walk into a bar. A slipper. READ THIS NEXT: 146 Hilarious Knock-Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up. Original don't care + didn't ask. * You didn't ask me? You know youve got a high sperm count when she has to chew before she swallows. Why did the chicken cross the road? They both have an ability to misfire. What did one plate say to the other plate? Keep the tip. 15. Explanation: Kleptomaniacs (people with the impulse to steal) take things literally because they literally take things. "No, I'm not, but don't take my word for it, ask your dad.". This often diffuses the situation and shows that you are not bothered by the insult. A dick in your mouth! He kept leaving little messages around the house. But these clever jokes offer something special: In addition to making others laugh, they make you sound smart. Because they're very good at it. Spit, swallow, gargle. Knock-Knock Jokes. Whats the difference between a hippo and a zippo? This was voted one of the best jokes of all time in a 2010 Reader's Digest jokes contest: A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. There just arent as many people who believe it. Three guys go on a ski trip together. However, its not always rude. One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter. Why didn't the skeleton get a prom date? A pouch potato. But hay, its in my jeans. Later they get together. They have many fans. They all are standing there awkwardly until one of them spots a stain on the carpet. Im pretty sure I married someone elses soulmate. Andy Simmons is a features editor at Reader's Digest. He ate the pizza before it was cool. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. I wonder how many people are in that field. What should you say when someone says, Who asked?. But when played all at once, they form a C-minor chord. The bartender asks, "Dry?". Because it said Concentrate on the side of the can. Approximately one GB. Ivana. 27. Why don't math majors throw house parties? What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? I like waiters, they bring a lot to the table. 13. It needed help figuring out its problems. We all want to have one of those cool moments where you say something really funny or clever in response to the very rude question did I ask you?. Why are women like KFC? What does a pig put on dry skin? According to world population studies, approximately 108 billion people have lived on this planet. A hooker can wash her crack and resell it. By following these tips, youll be able to handle the who asked question like a pro and keep the conversation going despite it. 4. Three words to ruin a mans ego? Nasty knock-knock jokes: We give some joke weapons to outdo your buddies: Children interpret everything they hear their way. 4. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Why having fun with a prostitute is like a bungee jumping? When When When When When When When. We all wish that at the moment you could have some great response. Whats red and moves up and down? She choked. I'll meet you at the corner. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. When I see ads on TV featuring smiley housewives using some new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds theyreclearlyon. 4. Oh never mind, Im still working on that one. Clever responses are better suited for when in the company of people you want to impress. These wisecracks are seriously hysterical. Whats the difference between your job and a dead hooker?